Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

It's occurred to me that I may be taking this whole blogging thing too seriously. There's a time to be professional and a time to be irrational. I'm not sure if I've been professional or just boring, but now's the time to be irrational.

Where this list originated from is unclear, but a friend shared it with me once and I saved it for laughs. The original list was quite a bit longer, but these are my favorites:

15 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In.”
5. Put decaf in the office coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “For Smuggling Diamonds”
7. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the Prophecy.”
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
10. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
11. Sing along at the opera.
12. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're
“not in the mood.”
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they're loose!!!”
15. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity...share this with someone to make them smile.

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